Playing with the Fencing Supplies

Stuck

I'm not even sure how she got there.

She couldn't figure out how to get herself out either.

When Mommy is Ignoring Me

a little destruction and some computer time

Shadow

My Dear Shadow,

I miss you every day.  I remember so much about you with almost everything I see and it makes me so sad.  

I remember how smart you were.  You would recognize every time we were getting ready to go somewhere and would wait in your crate for me to close the door.  But, you also knew when I was just calling you to your crate because we had company coming or it was bedtime.  You would walk around the house and take the longest possible route to your crate and then walk by me with the saddest expression.

I remember you especially at lunch and dinner.  You would sneak under the table and lay your head on one of the kids' laps and just wait.  You may have eaten more vegetables than them.  Millie keeps looking under the table at mealtimes waiting for you.

I remember you when I am breastfeeding Millie.  You and Sheldon would curl up at my feet in my room and quietly wait for us to get done.

I remember you when I feed Sheldon.  You were always fed last because you didn't always want to eat.  You just loved being outside.  Sheldon would beg to go outside after you so he could devour any food you left behind.

I remember your noisy walk.  Anytime I hear a clicking sound, I think I'm hearing you walking around.  You made so much noise when you walked.  It always made me laugh.

I remember your love of babies.  You always wanted to lick them and Millie was always happy to let you.

I remember your eyes.  When you were doing something you weren't supposed to, your eyes would follow us as we walking across the room.  You would keep your head still.  It was so cute.

I remember you when I see the sun on the grass.  You LOVED going outside on a pretty day.  If you could find a patch of sunny grass, you would claim it as your own.  The look you would give me when I would demand you come inside was of pure disgust.  You loved being in the sun. 

Shadow,  you made me love small dogs, of which I didn't think was possible.  You were always so gentle with all the kids and allowed Millie to walk around with you while holding your tail.  She would fall back on top of you while you laid on the floor and drape her body across your back.  You never flenched.  

When you came to us, you were so scared and shy.  You didn't want anyone to touch you and you hid anytime company came over.  The past few years changed you completely.  You adored affection and got so excited when someone came through the door.   

Eric and I were looking forward to snuggling with you in your old age.  I was even considering letting you sleep in our bed, which is not like me at all.

I am crying right now as I type this because I am so sorry we failed you.  I am so sorry we didn't fix the fence soon enough.  I broke down in tears the day after you were run over because Lowes delivered our fencing supplies that day.  We were too late.  You probably would have dug another tunnel to freedom, because you always found a new way out, but we didn't protect you like we had promised.  I am sooooo sorry.  You were supposed to me safe with us and we failed you.  

Rest in peace my little man.